It's all in the jeans

I recently decided to buy myself some new clothes in a bigger size.  What I had been doing is torturing myself with my old pre-baby clothes by having them hanging in my closet where I was forced to see them everyday knowing they don't fit.  I thought that having these where I could see them would motivate me into fitting into them quicker.  SPOILER ALERT-it didn't.  All it did was make me feel bad about not doing better.  It made me think badly of myself because I couldn't fit into my fat clothes, I now needed bigger fat clothes.
This immediately brought me back to college when I purposely bought pants that didn't fit me so that I would be forced to diet and work out to finally get my prize of nice, new clothes.  Can you believe that?  How masochistic could one person be?  Why I thought this was a good way to go is beyond me, but I never want to do that to myself again. 
It's good to have goals and know what and who you want to me.  It's not good to torture and abuse yourself into becoming that person.  I won't throw out my old clothes, I like those clothes, but I will put them away in a safe, dry place and bring them out when I can use them again.  And if I never fit into them again, that's ok too.  There will come a day when I feel comfortable donating them or whatever, but today doesn't have to be that day.
This brings me to what I really want to talk about.  For me, nothing makes me feel sexier than a pair of nice fitting jeans.  I've worn jeans that were way too tight.  I'm talking about the type of tight where you need to lie down and suck everything in while someone else does the zipper.   Not only was that horribly uncomfortable, but all it did was stuff in my lower half and make it all pour out of my upper half.  I was fooling no one.  I've also worn jeans that were too big.  In my attempt to counter the muffin top, I thought if I wore big jeans then nothing would be smashed to smithereens and I would look and feel better.  I didn't.  I didn't feel sexy or attractive, and I like feeling attractive.  The solution was finding the right fit for my body. 
I do most of my clothes shopping online, therefore I do a lot of returning.  Anyone who shops online knows that you don't really know what you're getting until you get it.  Sometimes what looks super cute on the models, doesn't look so super cute in person.  I recently bought two pairs of jeans online.  I had to guess at the size since it had been a while since I last bought pants and went two sizes up.  When my package arrived, I almost burst into tears as neither pair fit me.  It was like a cruel joke, how could I have possibly gone up more than two sizes?  I returned those pants and came to terms with the facts.  I have gotten fatter than I thought.  I ordered more bigger pants in two different styles in the same size by the same maker.  The first pair fit like a glove, it was almost as though they were cut from my exact measurements and I was instantly so excited.  I loved the way they hugged my curves without being restrictively tight.  All of a sudden, it didn’t matter what size they were, all that mattered was how I felt in them and how happy I was to feel good.  The second pair were a disaster.  They were too tight in the thighs, too big in the hips, and way too small in the waist.  I'm sure there is someone somewhere built for these pants, but they were horrible on me.  Luckily I tried the good ones on first, otherwise I might have sent them both back for a bigger size and that would have been wrong.  You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, and you have to try on a lot of jeans to find the perfect ones.
My main point is that the size of the jeans doesn't matter as much as how you feel in them.  Don't let that little number on the tag stop you from getting the right size for your body.  Find those perfect jeans and rock the hell out of them.  <3