A little bit of history

Several of my friends have reached out to me to talk about their own feelings and experiences with body image and the word fat.  I've been fat my whole life and getting to today has been quite a journey. 
I should share that my Mom was also fat.  She gained weight while pregnant with me and was never able to lose it.  Growing up, we tried all kinds of diets together and each and every one would fail.  I refuse to say I failed, I like blaming the diet.  :) 
In my first year of high school my butt exploded, I remember crying about how much it stuck out, and I would practice different walks, trying to find one that would make it shake the least.  It was horrible feeling like there was something wrong with me. 
In my early twenties I discovered low-carb eating and lost a lot of weight really quickly.  As the weight was coming off, people around me would tell me how great I looked and to keep going.  I remember looking at myself in the mirror and hating the way I looked, my head looked huge and my body was disproportionate.  Basically I was losing the weight and still hating myself. 
I talked to my Mom about it, and being the wise woman she was, she told me, "Not everyone is meant to be thin.  Some people look and feel better with some weight on them.  Don't feel like you need to change to please anyone but yourself."
Wow.  It was the first time that I was told that it was ok to be fat.  I immediately started to look at myself differently, and I allowed myself to acknowledge that I didn't hate things about myself because I didn't like them, I hated those things because other people told to me to.  Women are supposed to be thin and strive to be thinner, there is no room in the world for fat women, according to some. 
I have learned that I am meant to be fat.  I will never be thin, nor do I want to be.  That being said, I do have a weight that I am most comfortable at, and I assure you I am currently way past that weight.  However, my not being the size I want to be does not mean I have to beat myself up until I get there.  Quite contrary, I am choosing to love myself and all of my imperfections.  I have promised myself that I will work on the things I want to work on FOR ME and no one else.  I will not conform to someone else's idea of beauty.
I want to be the person who tells you that you are more than the size of your dress.  It is ok to want to work on yourself and be the best version of yourself possible, and still love yourself in the now, exactly as you are.  <3