Today a good friend of mine went through her very first break-up. Unfortunately, it wasn't her decision to end things and she's taking it a little hard. She'll be fine, she's so strong and has gotten through much worse, but I know it hurts a lot. It made me think back to my first breakup and all the subsequent breakups I've had since then. I wanted to be able to give her good advice, tell her things my Mom told me and pour everything I've learned into her. I thought long and hard and ultimately said this to her, via her Facebook wall:
I'm so sorry you're hurting, sweet girl. I wish there was a way to make it go away, but the reality is that sometimes life sucks.
Now that you're dating, you'll be on the giving and receiving end of break-ups, and because you are such a nice and compassionate person, they will be equally hard. My advice is to approach both with an open mind and a gentle tongue.
I know it hurts to get broken up with, but it's better than being with someone who doesn't get what a spectacular person you are. Seriously, he did you a favor.
So, use this weekend to reflect, make a mental note of what you will do differently when YOU need to break up with someone, have a delicious ice cream sundae, and then move forward with your life and on to the next adventure.
Now that you're dating, you'll be on the giving and receiving end of break-ups, and because you are such a nice and compassionate person, they will be equally hard. My advice is to approach both with an open mind and a gentle tongue.
I know it hurts to get broken up with, but it's better than being with someone who doesn't get what a spectacular person you are. Seriously, he did you a favor.
So, use this weekend to reflect, make a mental note of what you will do differently when YOU need to break up with someone, have a delicious ice cream sundae, and then move forward with your life and on to the next adventure.
I love you!
It sounds so simple, and that's deceiving because it's not simple at all. It's hard to go through it and process it at any age, let alone as a teenager, but it's something that unfortunately cannot be avoided.
I've learned that one of the most important things to know how to do is communicate effectively with people. I need to be able to say things to people in a way that they understand the message I'm conveying. One of the most difficult and admittedly awkward things to do is to breakup with someone, and I don't just mean a mate. Learning to "breakup" with a friend who is no longer a good fit is also very important and it's often very similar to ending a relationship.
I'm not sharing this because I am an expert in anything, let alone relationships. I just know what mistakes I've made that I wish I had thought through differently, and I wanted to share with anyone who might be struggling with something similar.
It sounds so simple, and that's deceiving because it's not simple at all. It's hard to go through it and process it at any age, let alone as a teenager, but it's something that unfortunately cannot be avoided.
I've learned that one of the most important things to know how to do is communicate effectively with people. I need to be able to say things to people in a way that they understand the message I'm conveying. One of the most difficult and admittedly awkward things to do is to breakup with someone, and I don't just mean a mate. Learning to "breakup" with a friend who is no longer a good fit is also very important and it's often very similar to ending a relationship.
I'm not sharing this because I am an expert in anything, let alone relationships. I just know what mistakes I've made that I wish I had thought through differently, and I wanted to share with anyone who might be struggling with something similar.
<3
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